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FANFARE

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JAZZ DANCE MUSIC

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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At Last The 1948 Show.

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Hello.

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I'm the lovely Aimi MacDonald.

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Here are a few facts
about the lovely Aimi MacDonald.

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She is terribly famous, and clever,

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and she reads lots
and hates spiders.

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Well, that's quite enough for now
about the lovely Aimi MacDonald.

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Ooh! Wait a minute, darling.

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I'm supposed
to introduce the show.

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Ladies and gentlemen, the show.

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Good evening. Here is the news.

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President Tito arrived at
London Airport earlier this evening

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on the first stage
of his five-day visit to the...

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GLASS SHATTERS

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Somebody's stolen the news.

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May I have the news back, please?

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I'm so sorry about this, um...

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Will you please bring
the news back immediately?

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SHOUTING

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Well, as I was saying... it appears
that this, uh... this president

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um... president...

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of, um...

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MAN: Yugoslavia!
..Yugoslavia...

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has arrived
at London Airport, to... to... to...

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see... uh... somebody... um...

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very important about... um...

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something...

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..very important, I imagine.

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Apart from that... um...

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Excuse me one moment.

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Will you give me the news now?!

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Give it! No!
Give it back or I'll... No!

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President Tito and Madam Tito

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were met at London Airport by...

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Argh!

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..Mr Jor...

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And now a quick look at the weather.

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FANFARE

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Topic, a frank discussion
of a controversial problem.

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This week, Franklin Trevelyan

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talks to Dr Rhomboid Goatcabin

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about freedom of speech.

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Dr Goatcabin,
what I want to ask you first

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is do you believe that,
in this country,

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there is freedom of speech?

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Well, I...

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Or, to put it another way,
do you believe

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there is, in this country,
freedom of speech?

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Yes, well, I think...

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Or, to... to paraphrase that,

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do you believe that there is
freedom of speech in this country?

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Yes. Yes, I do...
In other words,

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are people in this country
free to speak?

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Yes, well, I...
That is what I mean.

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Perhaps I should say,
that by "free",

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I mean, of course, unrestrained.
By "speech",

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I mean the act of speaking.
Yes, quite.

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And by "in this country",
I mean, of course, Great Britain.

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Yes, I do appreciate...
And Northern Ireland.

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And the Channel Islands.

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And not, of course, abroad.
No.

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I mean, let me put it another way,

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to what extent do you,
as opposed to anyone else...

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I know the question.
..who would be other people.

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I do know the question.

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By "feel", I mean believe...
I know the question.

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..consider, hold to be true...
I know the question!

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I know the question!
I know the question!

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I know, I know the question!

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..that is in fact the case.
I know the question!

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I know the quest...

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Or not.

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What, what, me?
Yes.

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You want to know what I think?
That's right.

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Really?
Yes.

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Well, I...

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I've forgotten the question.

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Er... freedom of speech.
Oh, yes, yes.

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What I was asking was do you feel
that freedom of speech

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in this country is an illusion?
I remember the question!

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Or a reality?
I remember the question!

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I remember.

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I remember the question!

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I do know the question!

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I know the question!

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I remember the question!

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I do know the question!

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I know it!

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I didn't want to come here.

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You made me come here.

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..must be considered...
I didn't want to come!

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I'm going now. I'm going.

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I'm going.
..on a relative,

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as opposed to an absolute problem.

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When I say "problem",

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I do mean an issue
that affects all of us at this time.

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I mean, I always myself feel
that one is universally agreed

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that some restriction
on the right of free speech

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is necessary, for example,
in the case of the law of libel...

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TRUMPETING,
DRUMMING

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MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

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..as the case may be.

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I mean, bearing in mind,
that, with censorship,

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many of the facts that lead to
a repression of a person's opinion

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can, in fact, lead, if bottled up,

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to extremely violent
states of action.

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Though I do not personally believe
it to be the case...

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..as there seems to be
little evidence

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to this effect.

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Well, I always feel,

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in the case of freedom of speech,

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one can only...

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However, I'm afraid that is
all that we have time for tonight.

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Good night.
Argh!

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APPLAUSE

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And cue.

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All I said was, "Kiss me, Hardy."

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It's a bit bold, really,
and it gives a lady such a bad name.

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APPLAUSE

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T-t-t-t-t-t-t.

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T-t-t-t.

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Excuse me, is this seat occupied?

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No.

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T-t-t-t-t-t.

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Excuse me, would you mind
if I changed places with you?

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What?

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Could I sit there?

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Oh, yes, I suppose so.

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T-t-t-t-t-t.

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Oh, dear.

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Oh, dear, oh, dear.

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What?

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I thought
I would like sitting here,

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but now I'm here, I find it's not
as good as I thought it would be.

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Oh.
I'll sit there.

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Erm...

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do you mind if I smoke?

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Er, no, not at all.
Are you sure?

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Yes, thank you.

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You're not just saying that
to be polite?

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No, no, no, please, do smoke.

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Only, you would say
if you didn't want me to?

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Yes, I would.

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Really?

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Yes, I promise I would.

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So, you don't mind if I smoke?

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No.

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Only, some people might object.

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Yes, but not me.

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I was just making sure.

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Thank you.
I wish I had a cigarette.

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I wish I had
a cigarette that I could smoke.

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If only I had a cigarette...

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Do you want a cigarette?
Ooh!

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Ooh. Ooh.

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Er, no, I don't think I will.

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Please, take one.
No, I mustn't, no.

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No, take one.
No, no, really, no.

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All right.

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I wish I hadn't refused
that cigarette.

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How I wish I hadn't refused
the cigarette

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that nice gentleman offered me...

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Ooh! Ooh, thank you.

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Thank you very much, thank you.

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Aren't you going to smoke it?
No.

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See, if I smoke it now,

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I won't have one for after.

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After what?

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After I've smoked this one.

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If I had two cigarettes now,
it would be plain sailing.

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Yes, what I chiefly need
is two cigarettes.

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Have another cigarette.
Thank you.

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Keep the packet.
Thank you very much.

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Not at all.
No, thank you, though.

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OK.
No, but thank you.

181
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That's all right.

182
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Yes, but thank you.

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Shut up!

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Bah!

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What was that?
It was me.

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It's a speech impediment.

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I used to go, "Bah!"

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after every second word.

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I used to say,

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"Hello there, bah, Mr Moonstreet!

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"Bah!

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"How are, bah, you today, bah?

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"I'm fine, bah!"

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Yes, yes, yes.
I do follow, I do understand.

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They cured me at the hospital,
though.

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The doctors, they were wonderful.

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They stopped me going "Bah!"

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after every second word.

199
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How?

200
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They said, don't go, "Bah!"
after every second word.

201
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And it worked.

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Now I only go,

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bah, when I want to!

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Bah! I wanted to then.

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Once upon a time,
there was a fairy prince

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and his name was Arthur Aldridge.

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00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,960
And he got on a train

208
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and a magic wizard gave him
some cigarettes, magic cigarettes.

209
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,960
What are you talking about?

210
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I'm telling myself a story
to pass the time.

211
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Well, will you please
tell it quietly?

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MOUTHS

213
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,960
..lived happily ever after.
The end.

214
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,960
I spy with my little eye

215
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,320
something beginning with...

216
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:49,960
..B...
Quiet.

217
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,960
..or J.

218
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,960
Quiet, please.
B or J.

219
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,960
B or J?

220
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,480
Easy, B or J.

221
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,960
How can it begin with a B or a J?

222
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,960
For various reasons, none of which
I'm at liberty to divulge.

223
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,960
B or J.

224
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960
What's the answer?

225
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:11,960
Ectoplasm.

226
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:16,960
Ectoplasm?

227
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,160
Mr BJ Ectoplasm.

228
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,960
He works in my office.

229
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,320
But you can't see him!

230
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,960
You can if you have an appointment.

231
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,960
I can make myself disappear.

232
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,960
Well, why don't you go
and disappear, then?

233
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,480
I can disappear,
make myself invisible.

234
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,960
Right, disappear. I can't do it
while you're watching me.

235
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,960
Look over there.

236
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,960
I've gone.

237
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,960
I'm back.

238
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,000
I've gone. I've gone.

239
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,800
Look, will you please just stop...?

240
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,960
Once upon a time,
there was a fairy prince

241
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,960
and his name was Arthur Aldridge.

242
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,160
And he got on a train and a magic
wizard gave him some cigarettes,

243
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,960
magic cigarettes, and he said
to the wizard, he said...

244
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,960
Oh!

245
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Argh! Oh! Argh! Oh!

246
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,960
Argh!

247
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,960
O-o-o-o-o-oh.

248
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:34,960
Ah.

249
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,960
And they all lived
happily ever after. The end.

250
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,160
APPLAUSE

251
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,960
Hello.

252
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,960
Last week, I showed you
the lovely Aimi MacDonald dolly

253
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,320
and the demand was so enormous,
just everyone wanted one.

254
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So, specially for you,

255
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,480
we are now making them in
different sizes, and here they are.

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DOLLS: 'The lovely Aimi MacDonald.
is very, very lovely.

257
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:04,960
'The lovely Aimi MacDonald
is very, very lovely.

258
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,960
'The lovely Aimi MacDonald
is very, very lovely.'

259
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,640
They don't say very much,

260
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,960
but they certainly
know what they're talking about.

261
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,960
APPLAUSE

262
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,960
Hello.

263
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,960
Well, now, let me remind you,

264
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,480
about one or two of our programmes
later this evening.

265
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,960
At ten o'clock, there will be
another chance

266
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,960
to see the second repeat
of a repeat of a programme

267
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,960
which was first repeated at 9:30.

268
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,960
And then at 10:30,
there will be a third chance

269
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,000
to see a recording
of a repeat of the first part

270
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,960
of the Sports Report report
on sport,

271
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,960
which is a repeat of
the Sports Report report repeat

272
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,960
reported by Peter Porter
on the Sports Report report.

273
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,320
This is a repeat.

274
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,960
Well, now,
it's almost half past eight,

275
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,960
and time for our live programme,
the 791st episode

276
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,960
of our interminably popular serial,
The Willetts of Littlehampton.

277
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,960
Leo!
Sarah.

278
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,960
Leo, is it really you?

279
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,960
Yes.

280
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,960
After six years.

281
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,960
Let me look at you, Sarah.

282
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,960
You've hardly changed.

283
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,160
Haven't I?

284
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,960
How was Malaya?

285
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,960
Pretty damn grisly.

286
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,960
I wanted you every moment, Sarah.

287
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,480
No, Leo, you mustn't.

288
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,960
You... know...

289
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,960
I heard.

290
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,960
Congratulations, Sarah.

291
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,960
Or should I call you Mrs Mellish?

292
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:02,960
Please don't remind me.

293
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,000
Is he here?

294
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,960
Your husband?

295
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:08,960
No.

296
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,960
He's never here now.

297
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,960
Oh, God, it's so lonely, Leo.

298
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,960
Poor Sarah, poor little darling.

299
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,960
SHE SOBS

300
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,960
Sarah, there's something
I must ask you.

301
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,960
This way, party, this way.

302
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,960
Now, this is a television studio,
you see.

303
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,960
This is one of our main studios.

304
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,960
There seems to be some sort
of rehearsal going on down here.

305
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,320
Please carry on, don't mind us.

306
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,960
Just showing round a party
from Jordanian Television,

307
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,160
wanna have a look-see, OK.

308
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,960
Now, over here,
we've got some cameras.

309
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,160
You were saying, Leo.

310
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,960
Erm...

311
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,960
Oh, yes, Sarah,
there's something I must ask you.

312
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,960
You remember that letter I sent you
from Singapore, after Arthur died?

313
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,320
Did you open it?

314
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,960
No, of course not. You said not to.

315
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:51,960
Where is it?
It's in the study.

316
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,160
Sarah, I want you to get it now.
I want you to read it.

317
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,000
Now? Please, Sarah, don't argue.
Do as I say.

318
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,960
Very well.

319
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,960
Now we are back on the set again,
you see.

320
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,960
Thank you so much, dear.

321
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,960
Now, this is supposed
to be a drawing room.

322
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,960
It's not real, of course,
just a lick of paint

323
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,960
and a few pieces of plywood,
this sort of thing here.

324
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,960
Oh, dear.

325
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,800
Sorry about this.

326
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,960
By the way, this is a stage hand.

327
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,960
And now over here, we'll just meet
one of our actor chappies.

328
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,960
Hello there.
Hello. We're on the air.

329
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,960
Jolly good, well done.

330
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,960
Now, these gentlemen
are from Jordanian Television.

331
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,960
We're on the air, get off.

332
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,960
Here's the letter, Leo.

333
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,480
Excuse my friends.

334
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,960
What? Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

335
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,960
I suppose this is Uncle Harry
and his Arabian friends.

336
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,960
Uncle Harry and his Arabian friends.

337
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,960
Yes, that's Uncle Harry.
Oh, no, we're not in the play.

338
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,160
I'm Head of Drama.
Shh!

339
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,480
Well, how nice to see you
like this, Uncle Harry,

340
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,000
right out of the blue,
so unexpectedly.

341
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,960
Accompanied, as usual,
by your inseparable Arabian friends.

342
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:02,960
I wonder if you would excuse us

343
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,960
while we get on
and read the letter?

344
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,960
Yes, don't let us get in the way.

345
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,960
I'm sure you're frightfully busy
rehearsing your play.

346
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,160
Jolly good. All right,
Jordanian party, this way.

347
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,320
I want you to see a boom microphone.
They're rather fascinating.

348
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,960
Fancy seeing Uncle Harry again.

349
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,960
Yes.

350
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,960
Isn't it amazing how interested
he still is in Arabs.

351
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,480
Yes. And television.

352
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,960
Years ahead of his time.

353
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,960
Yes, yes.
Yes.

354
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,960
Yes.
Yes.

355
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:37,960
They're not, are they?

356
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,960
Oh, the letter, Sarah.

357
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,960
I want you to read it,
do you hear me, Sarah?

358
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,960
I want you to read every word.

359
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,960
It explains everything about
that evening at Locksby,

360
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960
about Teddy's suicide,
about everything.

361
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,960
Oh, my God.

362
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:56,960
Argh!

363
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,960
Uncle Harry seems to have left

364
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,800
one of his Arabian friends behind,
Sarah.

365
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,320
So he has.

366
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:07,960
Go away.

367
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,000
He's always,
always doing things like that.

368
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,960
Silly old Uncle Harry.

369
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960
Why don't you go and join
Uncle Harry

370
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,960
and your two friends in the garden?

371
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960
Um... Sarah.

372
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960
I want you to finish
reading the donkey.

373
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,960
The letter.

374
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,160
I want you to read every word,
do you hear me?

375
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,160
Every single word.

376
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,800
And then I want to talk about us,
Sarah.

377
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,960
Could you move up,
Uncle Harry's friend?

378
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,960
Leo,

379
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,800
Leo, you realise this means
that my marriage to Lionel is...

380
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,960
Yes.

381
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,960
Then he's not really...
No.

382
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,320
Oh, Leo.

383
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,960
Oh, Leo, then we are free to...

384
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,960
Yes, darling Sarah, yes.

385
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,960
Oh, Leo, darling,

386
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,960
we're alone at last.

387
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,000
Apart from Uncle Harry's friend.

388
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,960
Sarah, it's been so long
since we were together like this.

389
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,960
Just the two of us...

390
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,960
and an Arab.

391
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,960
Oh, Sarah, I love you,
do you hear me?

392
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,640
I love you madly.

393
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,960
I love you, too, Leo.

394
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,960
Argh!

395
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:37,960
Erm...

396
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,960
Why don't you go for a stroll
in the garden, Uncle Harry's friend?

397
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,960
Argh!

398
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,960
Erm, Sarah,
I'll go and fetch Uncle Harry.

399
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,960
Argh!

400
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,640
Sorry to bother you again.
Argh!

401
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,960
I think I lost one of my party.

402
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,960
Ah. Ah, there you are. Oh, dear.

403
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,960
Prince Abdul thing,

404
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,960
we are moving on to Studio Two now
to see colour television.

405
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,960
This is a live production.

406
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,960
Live, now, we are on the air,
not a rehearsal?

407
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Um...

408
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:07,960
Ah, there you are, Uncle Harry.

409
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,960
Good evening, yes.

410
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:10,960
Here I am, Uncle Harry.

411
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,800
Uncle Harry, here I am.
Not the Head of Drama.

412
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,960
Not remotely like him.

413
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,960
But, as you so aptly put it,
Uncle Harry.

414
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,640
Jolly good.
Good evening, I'm Uncle Harry.

415
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,800
Am I on the right camera?

416
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,960
Yes, Uncle Harry, yes.

417
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,960
Sarah and I want to be alone,
Uncle Harry.

418
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,480
I wonder if you would mind
taking your Arabian friend

419
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,960
for a walk in the garden?

420
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,960
In the garden?
Garden.

421
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,960
Oh, he's gone.

422
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,960
Ah, well, it doesn't matter now,
Uncle.

423
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,000
Lovely to see you again,
Uncle Harry. Uncle Harry.

424
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,960
Goodbye.
Oh.

425
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,960
Goodbye
and please give my love to Gladys.

426
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,960
Ad-libbing, you know,
trying to keep it going.

427
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,320
Quick, Sarah,
there's not a moment to lose.

428
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,960
Come with me now.
Oh, yes, Leo.

429
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,960
Now.

430
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,960
But let's savour this moment,
it's so wonderful.

431
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,960
Inshallah!

432
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,960
Come with me now, Sarah,
before it's too late.

433
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,960
Quiet! I can hear someone coming.

434
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,960
I think it's my husband.

435
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,960
Aha! So, this is the way
you treat me, Sarah.

436
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:11,960
I leave you here alone...

437
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,960
Except for the Arabs.

438
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,960
What?
Except for the Arabs.

439
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,800
I leave you here alone,
except for the Arabs,

440
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:20,960
and when I come home,
what do I find?

441
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:21,960
Him.

442
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,960
It's no good, Mellish.

443
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,960
Sarah knows about Sebastian's will.

444
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,960
What?
Yes, and Teddy's suicide.

445
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,800
I told her everything.
You mean she knows?

446
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,640
Yes. I know
that we are not legally married.

447
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,960
Don't say I didn't warn you, Leo.

448
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:36,960
Argh!

449
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,640
Ah.

450
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,960
I'm going to kill you.
I'm Uncle Harry, you see.

451
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,960
Who?
And...

452
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,960
And the director told...

453
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,960
No, I thought.
I thought it would be a good idea

454
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,960
if I asked my Arabian friends

455
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,960
if they'd like to leave
the studio... the living room

456
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,960
and make things easier for you,
jolly good.

457
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,960
I don't care who's here, Leo.
I'm going to kill you.

458
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,960
No, Lionel, no!
Keep away from him, Sarah.

459
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,800
I'll give you three.

460
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:01,960
One...

461
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,960
two...
This way, Nigerian party.

462
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,640
This is a studio.
You may have seen some...

463
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,960
SHRIEKING

464
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,960
SHOUTING

465
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,960
You!

466
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,480
You! You bloody fool!

467
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,960
You ruined my whole bloody,

468
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,960
bloody programme!

469
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,640
Oh, no!

470
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,960
HE WEEPS

471
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,960
I'm so sorry.

472
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,640
Is Leo mortally wounded?

473
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,960
Will Lionel Mellish find the letter?

474
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,960
Or will the Head
of Children's Programmes turn up

475
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:30,960
with a load of flaming Eskimos?

476
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,960
Don't ask me,
we only do the bloody programme.

477
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,960
This way, Eskimo party,
this is one of our studios.

478
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,960
That's a camera. If you'd like
to have a look at that there.

479
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,160
That's a lens.

480
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,960
You probably have the same
in your country.

481
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,960
You can see a red light on it.

482
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,960
HE CONTINUES SPEAKING

483
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,000
APPLAUSE

484
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,960
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com.